Recently I had a conversation with a client who had a BIG dream.
She has passion and vision and knew how amazing it would make her feel to achieve it.
But... in one of our sessions she revealed her feeling of guilt for daring to dream big. She felt that dreams weren’t supposed to be achievable and that her dream wasn’t "serious enough" in comparison to her day-to-day responsibilities.
When we say the word DREAM, we associate it with something hard to achieve, something UNREALISTIC. Addressing someone as a DREAMER implies the person isn't serious and should be doing something more practical and worthwhile.
If we define something as a DREAM, we immediately put up a wall in our minds and imagine that it could only happen in a different reality. It could never actually come true, could it?
The word DREAM itself means the OPPOSITE OF REALITY.
What Stops You from Realizing Your Dreams?
"The only thing worse than starting something and failing ... is not starting something." --Seth Godin
Excusitis (noun) - the behavior of a person that finds all sorts of excuses to justify their poor performance, resulting in lack of action.
Sadly, a lot of people dream of doing or creating something, but only after their urgent problems or responsibilities are resolved. They’re stuck in the mindset that something is always "more important". But what can be more important than living your life the way you want to live it?
The truth is, your whole life consists of those urgent and more important things. And you’ll constantly block your own way with these excuses.
Some of us go even further and arrange life in such a way that it keeps us under pressure all the time, and we only have just enough time to keep our heads above water.
We’ll constantly question ourselves on why we’re too busy, even though it’s actually us causing the problem. If you keep the same thoughts attitudes that lead you to doing the same old stuff, then you’ll always end up with the same results.
Fear of the Unknown
Have you ever thought about how children treat the unknown in comparison to adults?
You’ll notice that children are open to everything new and unknown; they have natural curiosity. Most adults lose this attitude over time as something unfamiliar very often equals something dangerous or something negative in their imagination based on their wider experience.
A lot of people like playing the “what if…” game.
Some are so good at it that it can spiral into: “What if nobody likes it?” or “What if this is the worst decision in my life?”
Fear of the unknown can lead us to catastrophizing the outcome and deciding to stick to less enjoyable, but more predictable lifestyle. “Playing it safe” is always our natural fallback position.
Your Dream is Unrealistic…
Once you start comparing where you are now to where you want to be, it starts looking unrealistic and scary. Your dream looks like some faraway Neverland that you’ll never be able to reach. This is where many of us give up. But you’ve got to keep at it!
What do the ones who don’t give up do? They create their own roadmap and follow it to achieve their dream.
Lack of Self-control
Lots of people know what they have to do to make their dream come true. It’s just having the courage to take that leap that they struggle with.
Some people might even already have a plan and next steps at hand, but the main thing is still missing - actual actions!
Why could that be? Usually, the problem is failing to focus on what matters most. Choosing procrastination over action and allowing your doubts and fears to block you, means that you’ll struggle to progress.
Once you start taking action, your fears and doubts will magically disappear.
Lack of Self-belief
Why do people disempower themselves by not believing in themselves?
When you have a dream, it means you are still living a life that doesn’t match that dream. You might be weighed down by doubts that you have what it takes to get there. And, let’s face it, that might be the case at the moment. But the thing that people forget is that you can always grow, develop, and learn what you need to get there, be it skills or personal qualities. All that knowledge is right out there for the taking!
People usually give up when they realise they don’t have those skills to succeed. But guess what happens to the ones who go ahead and learn the skill or develop their character? Correct! They achieve their dreams!
What helped that client of mine to start seeing her dream as important and just as achievable as the other things in her life? What made her change her attitude? What made her believe there's no wall? Let’s take a look:
Here are the Key Elements for Realizing Your Dreams:
1. Create a roadmap. Turn your dream into a goal and break it into actionable steps.
2. You’re creating yourself and your reality. Nobody is born having a perfect skill set or mindset, people develop those. You too can gain any knowledge you need and transform your character accordingly.
3. Your thoughts result in actions! Pay attention to your positive self-talk and your beliefs. Isolate your fears and take action. Actions remove doubts and give results and confidence.
4. “Where your attention goes, your life goes.” - Martha N Beck.
Focus on what matters most… your dream! Make sure you don’t disperse your attention and leave your dream aside to pursue those things you previously felt were important. Take regular action towards achieving your dream and you’ll see yourself approaching it.
My client is already a few steps closer to her dream! It’s your turn now.
Creating a goal and action plan is like building a bridge between your DREAM and REALITY. It's more real than you could ever imagine. - Vasilisa Coaching