Resilience has been a buzz word recently. People come to think of it as a superpower or a magic shield that protects you from being controlled by your emotions.
Resilient people are known to be clear-minded, reasonable and wise. Once people aren’t controlled by their emotions or reactivity, they become more confident, brave and non-attached. In the past years, we started acknowledging the role our emotions play in our lives more and more.
What does resilience mean?
First of all, it’s the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties or to navigate easily through changes. This becomes possible thanks to one’s ability to use the experience of setbacks to become stronger and more flexible.
What is the key to becoming resilient?
"Emotions have taught mankind to reason." - Luc De Clapiers
Resilience is related to mindfulness and emotional intelligence. Some people develop resilience with experience. Others learn it by applying different strategies to reshape their perceptions and reactions.
It doesn’t mean such people are insensitive. On the contrary, they know the power and effects of certain emotional reactions very well.
They learn how to decode these emotions and transform them into feedback that will serve and empower them instead of blocking.
For example, let’s have a closer look at such a feeling as "offence". You can see that at its root is not a logical analysis of the situation. This is a purely emotional response to not getting what you wanted or expected.
How to think and act like a resilient person?
“Don’t let your emotions make your decisions.” - Joyce Meyer
When having a negative emotion, say guilt, fear or anger we tend to act as they tell us to get rid of those. A resilient person analyses what's behind the feeling and which place it's coming from. They are also comfortable with the physical part of the experience. The above approaches help them step back and see the situation without any emotional filters.
What is a setback or a misfortune for a resilient person?
This is usually a place that holds some feedback. A resilient person analyses what went wrong and either tries to fix this or use it as data for future growth. The process of addressing and inspecting the reasons behind unpleasant events allows resilient people to let go easier and focus on the solution or next step. As a result, their mind isn’t occupied with fears and concerns about what has happened for too long as it would happen to other less resilient people.
Why are resilient people happier and more optimistic?
They are not necessarily focusing only on positive things in their lives. They just don’t allow negative attitudes to guide them. They know that focusing on negative and destructive feelings like fear, hopelessness, overwhelm will not help them solve any issue. Low emotional states can either push us to anything to escape the unpleasant feeling or cause us to spiral down even lower. The bottom line here is that resilient people consciously choose empowering states over disempowering ones.
How can one build resilience?
“When the emotional center is at its peak - the logical center is at its bottom”
There are certain techniques and practices that are easy to follow. The main thing is to be consistent and willing to apply them every time you are driven off-track by your emotions.
3 ways to develop resilience:
Mindfulness means purposeful moment-by-moment awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment.
Being mindful and self-aware allows you to create a space between you and your thoughts without associating yourself fully with your emotions. This gives space for analysis and better decision making. Mindfulness also helps to stay more balanced and focused.
Take care of yourself.
There are a lot of ways to do it, but the main purpose is to focus on your own wellbeing and doing what you like. This can include anything from rewarding yourself with enjoyable activities to being more empathetic towards yourself.
Take decisive actions.
Taking decisive actions increases resilience as well as your courage and assertiveness. By overcoming fear of taking responsibility or making the wrong decision your self-esteem grows too.